but then we traveled (oh! still gotta show ya our friend’s wedding!). being confined to a small room for two days on a train and being attached to mommy (when not asleep) during our trip appeared to cause a minor setback.

however, the minor setback became a major one as everyone who walked in our home insisted on holding liberty. in essence, preventing her from trying out her walking legs.

in an effort to honor our guests i obliged their wishes, telling myself: “no one’s gonna ask how old she was when she began walking (well) when she’s playing professional football walking down the aisle”.

and though i believe that sentence and the sentiments behind it, i’m also very eager for liberty to be able to stand on her own two feet… and walk.

so this week i very cautiously and nicely stuck to my guns. “please let her walk around.” “she’s 14 months olds. she needs to practice walking.” and so on.

thankfully, to my surprise, once people realized/remembered that she was over a year old and that she did in fact want to “practice” they were more than compliant.

i think that as much as they adore her and want to hold and touch her, they also realize this is a milestone that must be achieved… with their self-restraint help.

and just like that, she’s up & at ‘em!

and we’re all very happy about that!

in preparation for our upcoming travels we decided to act offensively, moving them into the same room at night… even as i continue to nurse liberty. which isn’t a big deal to me or liberty, but to sterling the-ultra-light-sleeper, this is a major disruption to his sleep cycle.

to my absolute delight sterling wants liberty to sleep in his room with him – every day, several times a day, he asks me with great excitement if she’ll sleep in his room that night.

unfortunately, to my dismay and frustration, getting him to ignore her giggles and taunts for fun has cost us all many hours of precious sleep.

my goal: document the image files that “i want to remember”

simple enough. except i want to remember, you got it, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. even the out of focus, fuzzy, half missed images reveal things about the sprouts i never want to forget.

because i can’t post 213 pictures on here i randomly selected three.

just a glimpse.

into what makes the sprouts, and me, very happy.

and now onto finishing up CHRISTmas pictures, before january ends.

’cause i’ve got great motivation…

i want to remember!

well, it didn’t exactly turn out that way.

’cause from the beginning the odds were against us.

the morning started out normal enough, except for the confused look sterling gave us every time we expressed our excitement that it was the day of his performance.

after bundling up for the 10 degree temperatures we set out on our 15 minute trek – liberty in the stroller and jarod carrying sterling.

when we arrived we were greeted by one of the teachers (not his). and this is where things began to go sour. unfortunately, he didn’t recognize her because she wasn’t wearing her school uniform, so when it was time for him to leave us to join his classmates in preperation for the performance he began to panic. it took great self-control on my part to encourage him to go with her.

because sterling’s pre-k is so small, they don’t have space large enough to accommodate a school-wide performance. so they rented out an actual cinema. as much as i appreciated the stadim seating, the cinema failed to be the perfect stage since they had to use a spotlight to illuminate the performers. of which, only those in the very center were illuminated.

even more unfortunate than the lighting was the fact that sterling was in full blown panic mode. our hopes that he would be comforted by being reunited with his friends and teacher were quickly dashed when we took our seats and though he couldn’t see us, we continued to hear his cries.

needless to say, his cries accompanied him onto center stage.

and then, when he spotted daddy standing inconspicoiusly in the crowd the intensity of his cries increased – dramatically.

and so did mommy’s

.

let’s just say, everyone in the audience knew who his mommy was.

thankfully, by the end of his performance he was able to hold himself together.

and we were able to congrulate him for doing such a good job!

in between sterling’s performances liberty was adequetly entertained by the songs, dances and skits of the other children… and we were entertained by her. J

in celebration of sterling’s 2^nd performance we made a pitstop on our way out of the mall at subway sandwich. an especially nice treat with a sale on the ham variety – feeding our whole family on three 6″ subs for 36 kuai ($5.50).

while sterling was busy dodging the camera liberty was content to sit tight and patiently wait for her custom ordered sub.

after a traumatic performance, many reassuring hugs and kisses and a full belly we headed back home sad that sterling didn’t thoroughly enjoy his moment in the spotlight, but thankful for the opportunity. because if there is one thing he and i were on that day, we were s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d.

7.22.11: immediately exited stage in fear and tears.

12.31.11: cried, but stayed.

hopeful we’re one performance closer to seeing sterling enjoying his moment in the spotlight.

one time i woke myself up giggling after i realized that i wrote, “warning: this email contains a lot of explanation (instead of exCLAMation) points” in an email to a friend.

another time i rolled over and heard jarod say, “good thing i’m not an elephant seal ’cause if i were you’d be sleeping next to 4 tons of blubber.” i couldn’t help but laugh.

here’s to a new week with hopes of less wake ups but more giggles!

i had warned him that the next guy i dated i planned on marrying.

thankfully, he didn’t take me too seriously.

but at 18 i was as serious as a heart attack.

oh, young love.

this year as we sat on the couch together i remarked how different our lives look compared to that first date 16 years ago.

no sparkle eye-shadow.

no friends to celebrate with.

too tired to pluck myself from the couch.

and yet, on new year’s eve i found myself content, full of joy and thankful.

oh, so very thankful.

for 2011 i’m pretty sure that as a new mom to an infant and a toddler my only “resolution” was to survive 2011.  and it looks like i’ve done that, though there were definite moments days of doubt.

even without high aspirations (in the typical sense) one of my favorite things i did for myself in 2011 was that i gave myself bangs!  not only do i think i look much better with bangs, but my hair is much more manageable, and much less moppy, with them!  success.  times 2.

i would like to say that in 2012 i’m going to make a new year’s resolution to:

indulge in at least 1 manicure

sleep 8 hours each night (which would be increasing my night sleep by about 20%)

have consistent “me time,” which is code for shopping or running errands by myself

but alas, the realist in me says, 2 of the 3 is so far out of the realm of possibility that i’m only setting myself up for failure.  so instead, here’s my “realistic resolutions” for 2012.

weekly (or at minimum, biweekly) date afternoons with jarod

add “what am i thankful for” in my daily journal

compress all my images on this blog prior to publishing (you’ll thank me later when you see more pictures and less type!)

mind-blowing, not so much.

simple, yes.

doable, probably.

realistic… definitely!

what are your “realistic resolutions” for 2012?

it’s not that i never ask God for the” impossible”.  because i do.  on a very regular basis.

in fact, you may recall that i asked for prayer for my mom to be “seizure free in 2011″.  in some ways that seemed like an impossible request.  yet, as far as we know (because seizures can vary in severity) God has blessed our requests on her behalf!

it’s not uncommon for me to ask God to do the “impossible” in the lives of people i know and love.  nor is it uncommon for me to ask the “impossible” for circumstances and people i don’t even know by name.  it just seems, in this life, that when asking for healing, restoration or redemption, i usually feel like i’m asking for the “impossible”.

however, this particular challenge to pray for the “impossible” felt very personal.

instantly i was made aware of what i needed to bring before our Father, as my ”impossible” request.

even so, for a moment the very fear i knew i was to ask God to overcome (& ultimately heal) veiled my faith and i almost chose not to ask such a big request of him.

as if anything is too big for our God.

it was then that i knew i had to make the request…  i knew i had to muster the faith to believe that he is in fact the God that does and can do the “impossible” – even in me.

so i confess all this to ask that you would pray with and for me that my endometriosis, the illness that kept me in bed 2-3 weeks of every month for years on end, would not return and rob me of these precious days with our sprouts.

i’m asking the “impossible” of our God, who’s bigger than any physical pain i’ve experienced and who’s greater than my fears.

and because i’ve seen him do the “impossible” in the lives of many, many others i want to ask you: how can i pray the “impossible” for you in 2012?

undeserving, but hopeful.

~jennifer

(Sing to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)

On the eleventh month of the year,
my true love said to me:
Liberty’s now one!
Fall is finally here!
Sterling is now 3!
Lived here a year!
I thought it’d get easier!
It’s your birthday!
12th anniversary!
What can I do?
He’s so cute!
She’s so little!
And I can’t b’lieve we have two!

On the twelfth month of the year,
my true love said to me:
you are my hobby!
Liberty’s now one!
Fall is finally here!
Sterling is now 3!
Lived here a year!
I thought it’d get easier!
It’s your birthday!
12th anniversary!
What can I do?
He’s so cute!
She’s so little!
And I can’t b’lieve we have two!

as we’ve gone through this advent season (& our advent app) we’ve been challenged to think through this season and do things that we’ve never done before, like writing our own version of the 12 days of CHRISTmas, which became for me the 12 months of the year and a sweet sprint down memory lane.  as you reflect back on the 12 months of YOUR year, may you recognize God’s amazing grace carrying you through and feel encouraged and blessed by all He has done in and through your life!

in my 1.5 years here this is my 4th first class.

when we first returned to the east side I went to class 5 days a week, 2 hours a day. i was pregnant then. and though i hated missing out on sterling’s mornings i was grateful to have the opportunity to study in a group setting.

because if there’s anything i’ve learned about myself over here, it’s that i don’t do well studying on my own. or at all.

after a couple of months of study (and enjoying great improvement in my speaking) it was time to head out of country to deliver liberty. and that’s when i took my first language hiatus. failure to complete the course: justified.

then, when liberty was 3 months old and i was at the peak of exhaustion and feeling obnoxiously sleep deprived i decided i could hold off on language learning no longer. and foolishly i assumed that though liberty was not on any kind of schedule somehow it’d work itself out and she’d be gracious enough to accommodate me (in my classroom) by scheduling herself to sleep the duration of my one-on-one tutoring session. needless-to-say, liberty did a lot of crying and i can honestly say i didn’t learn anything. not because of anything my teacher did or didn’t do, but because my brain was not in a position to function.

after returning home one day and collapsing on the floor i surrendered to the fact that my good intention wasn’t working out to be a good idea. i couldn’t do the 1 hour trek each way with liberty any longer. i felt defeated and deflated.

it didn’t take me long to realize my desperate need for intentional (ie. time set aside just for) language study. eventually another option presented itself. a friend of a friend offered to come to my home during liberty’s nap times. i could chose the content. and because she was very accommodating i thought this opportunity was too good to pass up. so i resumed language class. again with a tutor.

as much as i have enjoyed this laid back approach i still know myself well enough to know i’m rarely going to study outside of our times together and i really need the scheduled structured setting a classroom (with other students) provides.

so today i’m doubling up.

normally my tutor comes for 1.5 hours/one day a week (sounds piddly doesn’t it?).

but today my class will be for a solid (and mind numbing) 3 hours.

my sincere hope is that these scheduled twice a week study times will help me gain some traction in this otherwise elusive language.

and the bonus: my current commitment has a doable time frame. approximately 1 month.

’cause in all honesty i don’t know how well i’ll do away from liberty for an entire morning.

update: class 1 down! it’s official, my language isn’t just rusty, i think it’s totally corroded. and it’s gonna take a major overhaul to get it up and going again. anyone got any “rusteze” on hand?