is God good?

many years ago when i was trying to establish a consistent quite time with jesus, i realized that journaling my prayers was best for me since my brain tended to wander.  journaling helped me to focus.  over the years, my journals have slowly evolved into a more sophisticated system of recording many of life’s journeys via my prayers (no these are NOT diaries).

today, jennifer asked me to look up what was going on in my heart on the day that our little silver dragon was born, and thus i dug through my journals until I found September 20, 2008….

journals

above picture: jarod’s east asian prayer journals

hurricane ike had just destroyed much of my home town on the west side of the globe, but we were still living on the east side of the globe.  jennifer and i were both at our worst and stressed to our max.  interrogations, our local friends were told not to associate with us, and a major humanitarian project that we had been working on got cancelled by outside influences.  our home group decided to come over to give us a retreat. 

i opened up the page in one of my journals that was entitled “Saturday, September 20, 2008” and I was amazed.

we spent lots of time in The Word that day, and i came to a life changing discovery.  on September 20, 2008, I realized that in my heart, i did NOT believe that God was truly good (in my head i acknowledged that the Bible said he was, but my experience mitigated against that idea).  i DID believe that he was all-powerful, but that since everything in my life seemed to be falling apart even though i had given up everything (literally) to follow Him to the other side of the globe for years, i concluded that he could NOT be good since He had the power to pull us out of all the horrible experiences that we had gone through (poor health, infertility, delayed and possibly lost adoption, life and work struggles, etc.).

it was on 9-20-08 that God, once again, personally revealed himself to me, and this time He began healing my heart of all of the pain and suffering that i had experienced.  it was that retreat, and specifically on september 20, 2008, that God took us to a new phase of our journey with Him.  during this new phase in our life we saw God’s power displayed in new and miraculous ways.  we saw God move in more miraculous ways after that date than any before then.

even more amazing is that it was on that day that God also birthed our first born son. 

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2 thoughts on “is God good?

  1. I am so glad your soccer ball fell in my backyard and I had the opportunity to meet you. I was telling a friend from First Baptist about this…Wileen and Jimmy Rogers…and she forwarded this to me. Jarod, I enjoyed reading your thoughts in your journals and can identify with many of your thoughts. But, I, too, have found that God is good all the time and dependable on HIS timing, not ours. God bless you both as you await your new son.

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