i always thought i would chronicle every moment… or at least every first of my pregnancy. after all, i’ve waited years and years for this miracle and it seemed only natural that i would want to remember everything about it. even the not-so-pleasant aspects of the first trimester. but mostly i had this grand idea that i would take a picture each week – in the same spot, in the same pose – just to see how quickly my baby belly (aka. baby sprout) was growing. but low and behold life doesn’t always adjust itself to my desires. for one, once we found out i was actually pregnant i knew that my desire to be photographed in the same spot for the duration of my pregnancy would be an impossibility as we planned to (& did) return to the east side right at my 5th month. in addition, when it came time to begin chronicling my journey i was simply too worn out by exhaustion and nausea. truly i was in survival mode… and surviving didn’t include killing myself to document every moment! besides, i figured my energy (what little there was of it) was best spent on sterling – after all, he was already getting the short end of the mommy stick!
there are however, some aspects of this pregnancy i would like to document… not that i expect to ever forget them, but for nostalgia & entertainment purposes mostly.
my first trimester was trying to say the least. i was tired, unmotivated, and maybe even a bit demanding. i remember one particularly bad day when i literally felt like i had a hangover, complete with killer headache and nausea (the books said this might happen, but i never thought it would happen to me!) and in a state of pure misery i actually turned the tv on… just to distract sterling. for i truly was in no shape to care for him or myself! that was by far my worst day! i had no appetite and nothing, i mean nothing sounded good to me… except fill in the blank. that’s right, that blank meant for the first 3 months i got whatever it was (& each time the only thing!) that sounded good to me. needless to say, i got my fill of taco cabana during this time! jarod was desperate to get some nourishment in me and i was desperate to keep from spilling (or at least feeling like i was spilling) my guts continuously. on a few occasions jarod would lament the money wasted on restaurant food. but like i said, for the most part he was more than willing to stuff whatever it was, even if it meant an overpriced meal, into my belly. besides my loss of appetite and constant nausea, the first unexpected pregnancy symptom i had was quick weight gain… and the loss of my hips simultaneously. even though i wasn’t eating a lot and vomiting more than i would have liked my belly grew quickly… even to the extent that my mom told me i should ask the doctor about it. which i did… and learned that the high amounts of progesterone i was taking (to help sustain the pregnancy) was a major contributing factor to my bloating. it was also during this time that i had the sad realization that the changes my body was experiencing was also contributing to my difficulty in carrying sterling on my hip (which was more like a slide than a resting place) and i found myself having a hard time getting up and down from a chair with him in my arms. of course i lamented all of these changes. for you see, in years past when i dreamed of carrying my first child my visions never included caring for a toddler simultaneously. and just like that i found being both a mommy and a sick pregnant woman was hard work!
my favorite/funniest memory of those first months occurred one day while i was feeding sterling his lunch. for one, i thought it was a huge accomplishment that i was doing the simple task of sitting in the kitchen feeding him. (for some reason even the thought of the kitchen often brought on a wave a nausea.) i remember that i just sat down to feed him when i had this sudden thought: “i’m feeling hungry.” but before i could celebrate my renewed desire for food i was overwhelmed with the feeling of needing to vomit. and so i quickly jumped up and ran to the sink – sterling still eating away – and began my ‘release.’ it was during one of my not-so-quiet ‘releasing moments’ that sterling started calling to me, “mama, mama.” i was holding my hair back and not looking at him when i replied as sweetly as i could, “yes, sterling?” to which he began mimicking my guttural release sound. when i looked at him he was totally thrilled with his ability to copy mommy and i couldn’t help but laugh! he was so cute and in his innocence of the situation (so glad i didn’t scare him!) he made my heart leap for joy!
my entry into my second trimester was escorted in with great jubilation as it meant my pregnancy was no longer considered “high risk!”
but for jarod and me, there is a particular incident that will always stand out as the major turning point.
to read the he said/she said version (& here’s a hint) of “the hamburgler incident” stay tuned…