day 6 milestones: i successfully emotionally traversed “day 5.” in truth it’s a hard subject to share via blog mainly because its hard to wrap my thoughts, feelings and words around the significance of that particular day. in short, “day 5” was the day sterling was handed over to the orphanage. and so on “day 5” with liberty i expected to be faced with the raw reality of what this meant for him… and for us. however, like so many emotionally impactful moments, it didn’t really hit me until the middle of the night… then again the morning of day 6. suffice to say there is no way for my brain to reconcile what happened to our son with my mommy heart.
so on this day i watched liberty from a different perspective… and though i can’t begin to imagine what her personality will be like i can’t imagine not ever knowing.
nor can i imagine missing these sweet and oh so advevturous days with sterling. one sterlingism that has developed in the last year (though i’m not exactly sure when or how it began) is his desire to cuddle… with something soft. mind you, it doesn’t have to be a specific object but it does have to meet the soft requirement. in the past year sterling has cuddled with blankets, rags, bibs and yes, even a reusable diaper. usually his desire to cuddle manifests itself when he’s tired, but can also pop up when he’s stressed, confused or just simply uncomfortable in a situation. recently sterling has made it a point to verbalize his desire to cuddle, which seems to have increased his need to do so. or maybe it’s because he’s once again meeting so many new people, seeing so many new places and making so many adjustments that his need to cuddle is greater.
although we don’t want to outright encourage this kind of self-soothing we do infact allow it. but even in his desire to self-sooth he is unselfish and thoughtful. for instance, sterling is very concerned that liberty has a cuddle rag also. so here they are, cuddle rags firmly in grasp (thanks to sterling)!
and since i found myself with a few spare minutes & spare hands (!) i took the opportunity to give sterling a much needed haircut in the courtyard just outside our home. sterling isn’t particularly fond of haircuts because they have the effect of raining itchy pieces of hair on him… so over the course of time we’ve devised a few plans – some more successful than others. hands down our favorite place to cut hair is outside… and we’ve learned something about the art of distraction, be it a snack or a chance to watch a favorite show, it keeps him at least somewhat willing to surrender himself to the itchy mess.
in the states we’d then strip him down and let him play in the sprinkler outside… but since that’s not an option here (or in our new home) we make due with a quick washdown in the shower.
after nap time we decided to let liberty have a ride in her swing. we figured she’d enjoy the soothing motion it provided… after all, it was brought to her all the way from the states, and so by proxy should be an object of great affection. but even that didn’t seem to impress her. so as her cries increased sterling became increasingly concerned. and taking it upon himself to console her he kept a close vigil on her… and as you can see, using my alarm clock as his personal cell phone, eventually opted to call in for reinforcements.
we’re all excited and eager to play with talk to liberty when her eyes are open, which these days seems like a rare treat!
we’re all pretty fond of bedtime these days too. even sterling enjoys climbing into liberty’s “boat bed” and chillin’ out for a few minutes.
for me one of the hardest transitions has been how much i miss sterling. i know it sounds weird because we’re together non-stop, but i’ve found that i’m much more distracted and my hands are much more occupied these days (duh!) and yet sterling seems to be growing by leaps and bounds… and it’s happening all too quickly for me to keep up with.
…yet i know this is a season and eventually i find the balance… because the reality is, liberty needs more of me at this time and she too will grow up way too quickly.
lovin’ this picture… these days… these memories.
they certainly make me smile!