what’s this?

recently i read the following “caution” on a product in our home. can you guess what it is? (the typos are on purpose as this is EXACTLY as seen on the label).

______________________________

 caution
please use it according to these caution:
1, don’t leave it exposed to the direct sunlight and near the heater, don’t leave it exposed near the lampblack.
2, don’t wash it with the sharp abjects, such as the stain-brushes and knives.
3, don’t wash it with the chemical liquor such as volatized one and diluted one.
4, don’t put something heavy and hard on it, eg water. closet covers, flower pots, water pail, and pots.
if you don’t use and deposit according to the cautions above, fading, change color, distortion: cracking, and scraping should happen.
________________________________

 after reading this, i was disappointed because:

  1. i was hoping to expose it to our good ole household lampblack…or was i going to expose it to direct sunlight. i think i wanted to place it on a heater in direct sunlight by the good ole household lampblack.
  2. since i normally wash things with knives and the stain-brushes, i was also bummed about caution number 2. there goes my washing strategy.
  3. i need to take caution number 3 to heart since we keep both volatized and diluted chemical liquor ones lying around the house. the good news is that i will have more to use for cooking!
  4. i think i have voided my warranty, because i put lots of hard and heavy water on this object, and i don’t know how i can possibly break my habit of placing my closet covers on it. i’m doomed. according to this caution, i can place only one flower pot or multiple water pails…and a pot, but never hard water. what about hard water in multiple water pails?
  5. the point that most concerns me is the final statement because i don’t know if i’m depositing it or not, and it tells me that if i don’t deposit according to these caution, scraping should happen! will it start scraping me or something else. who’s it going to crack? so, if i’m using my butcher knife and stain-steel brushes to clean it with volatized chemical liquors while basking in the sun next to my lampblack and heater while stacking my closet covers and hard water on top of it – will it start changing colors and reach out and crack and scrape me? why “should” this happen? how do i deposit it?

 i was going to try to base a sermon on this material, but there are just too many directions that i could go with this – and none of them are very good. so, i leave you with this thought-provoking question: can you guess what it is? (and please don’t lose sleep over it…) 🙂

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5 thoughts on “what’s this?

  1. Oh my goodness, that is too much. Can’t wait to find out what it is. Want to make sure I am using it correctly in the states too!

  2. I’m just taking a wild guess. But it sounds like it could be a table more so than the other choices..

    Can’t wait to find out!

    Love Y’all

  3. Pingback: what’s this? ANSWER | jdavis2

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